When the World Comes Together

In the turbulent waves of an ever-parting sea, lies a remedy by way of connection, “the beautiful game”. For those of you not versed in the world’s most popular sport, that means soccer (or football for folks outside of the USA). This illustration through words may seem a bit hyperbolic or dramatic, but are they? Pause for a moment to consider this phenomenon we call the World Cup. Despite the abundance of scheming and corruption that follows FIFA in the news; beyond the divisive war culture poisoning leadership throughout the world; overshadowing the cultural hate, prejudice, and anger that fuels social media and in-person conflict, is a global cultural encounter that brings the world together every four years. Don’t believe me, turn on your TV, head to your local sports bar, or just step outside into your community. Do you notice anything different? The increased wardrobe of red, white, and blue isn’t just about the upcoming Independence Day celebration. In fact, for some it isn’t about that at all. The sky-blue and white vertical stripes swarming every child’s (and adults) closet is about a GOAT, not a holiday. The vibrant colors and beats of Africa that make your body move involuntarily are representative of overlooked nations rising to shock the world. The yells that likely registered on a Richtor Scale following a bogus red card are people connected in unison over a shared outrage, rooted in passion and good old fashioned grit. Stadiums full of jerseys for teams not playing paint a colorful work of art that confirms appreciation and respect for a game, talent, other nations, other people, other cultural experiences, beyond race, religion, or bias.

Since I was a child, 1993 in fact, I have loved and followed this beautiful game. As a nine-year-old boy in rural Georgia, where the word soccer was met with “What?” or “Bless you!”, I had finally found my groove. I was too skinny for football, though I loved (and still love) those Dawgs. I wasn’t coordinated enough for baseball, and I found it boring. I was tall, so everyone assumed I would be great at basketball. They assumed incorrectly. I couldn’t hit a golf ball if my life depended on it. Oh, and why are all those guys in skates fighting all the time? But, soccer was a feeling for me. It was exciting, it was new to me, it was a sport that brought kids like me together. In our town, it was our little secret, and only we had the inside scoop of how awesome it was. Not to mention, I had finally found a sport where being fast, having endurance, and kicking a ball were exactly the point. "Wait... I don't have to use my hands? Sign me up!" Don’t get me wrong, I loved watching these sports I didn't play. More that watching, I LOVED being a part of the crowd, feeling a part of something bigger - 93,000 of my closest friends. UGA fans will understand that reference.

Being a part of something bigger than oneself is the point. The pubs, restaurants, and parks with temporary screens are packed with people in the middle of the workday during an epic heat wave, not because they’re alcoholics who can’t resist a cold beer at 3:00 pm, but because people want to experience something together. They feel drawn to this irresistible force of nature. Let’s step beyond the World Cup for a moment. I’ve attended hundreds of sporting events in my life, and likely as many concerts. Do you know one thing these events have in common? People coming together to share an experience. Where else so you see large groups of people uniting in joy with high fives, hugs, kisses, and other signs of affection… synchronous eruptions of outrage… and a consoling embrace as tears trickle down cheeks during a shared disappointment? Sports and concerts are on the top 5 list among births, deaths, and weddings. Additionally, these people aren’t first confirming citizenship, or asking what each other do for a living. No, they see the colors or logos, and instantly feel connected to a family they’ve somehow known all of their lives.

I’m a therapist, mindfulness teacher, and nature guide by training and trade. I typically write and speak about issues related to mental health, nature connection, and mindfulness. Surprise, I’m writing about those things, here, as well. At the root of human experience is connection. A pillar or depression and psychological stress is isolation and loneliness. A risk factor for suicide is isolation, lack of support. An epidemic in modern society, especially for men, is loneliness - it is literally leading to poor health and death. In many ways, we have become saturated with constant connection via social media, reality TV, and instantly gratifying video sharing. However, these platforms provide the illusion of connection. We scroll through people’s updates, boasting, ranting, and sometimes raw oversharing until we feel satiated, and close the apps. Yet, we don’t actually know these folks, not really. We don’t know the intimate details of their experience beyond what they pour into public view. That’s not the whole picture. Social media can be a wonderful tool, as evidenced by the shared experiences people post when they connect over an event. These posts are captured memories of the real connection that took place. The comments are a way to keep the memory alive or invite others into the shared experience. They are not the experience itself. We must be careful not to replace the original and authentic moments with fabricated, curated snapshots.

At least for one month every four years, the world comes together. Wars are still happening. Teams and supporters are still deemed threatening and targeted by some world leaders. One team even played their hearts out on the land of the a country whose military was dropping bombs on theirs. Let that sink in for a moment. Still, people come together. Perhaps, these examples are indicative of an ancient practice where we focus on the experience we're in, as it is, beyond the stories, the fears, the fixations on what will come later.

Mindfulness is simply defined as intentionally bringing awareness to the present moment with curiosity. This experience prioritizes openness and flow over fixation, analysis, and judgment. We are practicing see what already is, as it already is, rather than allowing our stories and judgments about said experience cast clouds of thought and emotion over clear sight. Does the person next to you seem to be acting in a way that invites connection in this moment? Trust that for this moment, and embrace it. There is no need to bring in stories of what they may have said or done in the past, nor what they might say or do in the future. Be in the moment you’re in. Toward the end of his life, my grandfather would to tell me stories about his experiences in Europe during World War II. One story included a mutual cease fire during Christmas, which even included sharing a drink with someone who speaks a different language, has an opposing agenda, and was actively trying to kill him the day before. That same person would return to his agenda and intention tomorrow. Today, however, there was no fight, there was no hatred, there was no “kill or be killed.” There was simply human connection over a shared experience... reprieve from the worst time of their lives.

If we draw attention specifically to the component of mindfulness that emphasizes accepting what is as it already is, we have a smooth and clear segue into nature. Like all species on this planet, we humans are part of an ecosystem. We adapt, we thrive, and we perish based on whether or not we have the resources we need to survive or thrive in our ecosystem. We have the ability to move to a different ecosystem, change parts of the system we are currently in, or change parts of ourselves to better fit within the system. The planet has evolved, as so have many ecosystems within it. So have humans. We are a species that no longer needs to fight, kills, steal to protect our livelihood, yet many humans continue this way of existing. Many humans in power continue to places heavy resources into maintaining this practice. We have evolved to adapt to an easier way of living that our ancestors worked so hard and tirelessly to create. We can adapt to these changes and embrace what is as it is, or we can devolve back into more primitive ways of surviving. Imagine for a moment that we all lead with curiosity before automatic reactions. What could be different? The person with different skin color, language, religious belief, and culture expressing joy while wearing a jersey and exchanging high fives is the same person we attach prejudice to after the tournament concludes. Let that sink in for a moment. What if we remember each other in the light of a global phenomenon that brings us together? Would that change how we treat each other? Would that be a catalyst for adapting to an evolving ecosystem? This fantasy would, of course, have to include all humans - ones who have power, ones who crave it, and ones who have none - in order to become a reality. As has been said by many, “Hope is not a plan.” It can, however, be motivating and uniting. Let’s build upon this hope to, not only make a plan, but ground it in action.